A Family Reunion| Sam & Dean

[Dean M. Winchester]

Dean had been out of Purgatory for all of three days. He'd tried Sam's phone again and again and again, but either his younger brother had turned his phone off or had changed numbers because all he ever got was a disconnect buzzing in his ear. Honestly, it was irritating as hell! How the hell was he supposed to do anything when he couldn't even alert his brother that he'd some how made it home? Of course, he had wanted to make Sammy his first stop after crawling through the gates of purgatory, but he'd made a promise to Benny. Benny had to be taken back to his own body, and sadly, that couldn't be put off. Why? Because Benny's soul was threatening to tear a hole into Dean's arm. Well, a bigger one than the gash he'd placed in it himself to free the soul. He and Benny had said their good-bye's with the promise to see each other again soon. If only that soon were right now. Dean wasn't sure how to handle it, he was alone. Granted, it hadn't been the first time he had been alone, that much he was seriously used to, but right now..? What was he supposed to do?

Call Bobby? Yeah, right. Bobby was dead, he'd watched Bobby disappear in the fire when he and Sam had burned that flask a year ago. Dean had only known it was a full year because he'd managed to snag a newspaper and spot the date. A year! He'd been gone an entire year. What the hell had gone on since then? What was going on with the heavens, in hell, here on earth? Was Crowley still the head honcho? Who had taken over in heaven and most importantly, What the hell was Sam doing!? He'd never had this much trouble contacting his brother. It wasn't as if he could call Ellen, she'd been dead for a long time, too. Still that was on his shoulders. Jo too. Dad, Mom, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Ash. They were all on him and many, many more. At least, that was how he always saw it. What he wanted most of all was to jump in the Impala and just go for a drive, that always calmed him down and helped him clear his head. To hear the roar of the engine, feel it rumble under his feet, jam out to some Metallica.. God did he miss it all. It had to make him wonder where the hell the Impala was. What had Sammy done with it? If he junked the car, Dean was sure to kill his brother.

It was the third day and he was sitting in a crap-ass motel room that he'd pay for with a credit card he'd swiped on his first day back. His fingers drummed the table, anxious to get back out there and do something, but he couldn't think of what. The most important thing was finding Sam, but he had no frickin' idea on where to start with that one. Not right now at least. Just because he knew it would help, he dialed John's old cell, just to hear his father's voice. After six rings the voicemail took over, "This is John. Leave a message." He hung up before his father's voice had even finished speaking and let out a sigh. It didn't calm him as much as he'd thought it would. After several minutes he dialed another familiar number, "You shouldn't have this number...leave a message, if it's important I'll call you back," the gruff voice of Bobby Singer rattled off into his ear from the voicemail's recorded message. That one, surprisingly, calmed him a little.

He'd gone to see Lisa on the third day and that had been a total disaster. How could he have forgotten that he'd had Cass wipe their memories of him? God, how could he have forgotten. Again, Dean sat in a crap ass motel with nothing but the stolen Ford Focus he'd grabbed a couple days prior and a new swiped credit card in his pocket. He was hungry, he was tired, he was upset. He missed Cass like crazy, missed Benny and most of all missed Sam. What the hell had his brother gotten up to in this past year? What had happened? Where. Was. Sam? Dean felt like he was losing his mind, like it was just running out of his skull. Then again, after a year in purgatory he had that right, didn't he? To feel a little insane. A low sigh escaped him as an idea struck him. How could he have been so stupid!? With the idea, Dean jumped from the chair at the motel room table and ran out to the car to drive to the closest library. After rushing inside he found a computer that he could use and quickly sent an email to all four of Sam's accounts. He just had to hope that Sam checked them frequently enough and would believe it.

The message read: Sam, it's Dean. Where the hell have you been? And what the hell is going on with your phone? Don't you know how to answer the frickin' thing anymore? I'm at room 15 at the Days Inn Lodge in Kent Alabama. Get. Here. Now. He didn't bother to sign it, after all, he'd already said it was him. With a low sigh he hit send, instantly emailing all four accounts and then sat back in the chair with a satisfied smile. Why hadn't he thought of this before? He should have. Feeling proud of himself, Dean climbed up from the chair and made his way back to the Focus to make one pit stop at the closest Taco King to get himself dinner and then back to the motel for him. Now.. to wait. Would Sam show up? Would he believe the emails or would he think someone was pranking him? Or that someone was trying to trap him. That would be worse. He hated waiting.. Dean wasn't very patient.. at all.

[Samuel T. Winchester]

Sam had pretty much left the hunter's life behind with the loss of his older brother Dean. With Dean, Booby and Castiel gone, Sam was alone, really alone for the first time in his entire life. At first he had no idea what to do or where to turn. The loss that he was feeling was almost enough to make him end it all but there was something deep down inside of him that made him continue to push on through the pain. He indulged for a little while in drink to dull the pain but even that got old after awhile and it just stopped taking care of the feelings he was having.

Eventually he decided to just move on. So he hopped into his brother's beloved Impala and hit the road. No, he didn't have an exact destination or any clue on where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to get out of there and do something else. While on the road, that is where Sam realized that he was giving up his Hunter's way of life. After all how could he continue doing something that succeeded in taking every person that he loved and cared about away from him? No, the disappearance of Dean was the very last straw. He was finished. Now that Crowley had Kevin, there was no need for Sam to be involved.

At some point while on the road, Sam ditched all of his cell phones. He didn't need them anymore anyway. He was finished with being a hunter after all. His life would change in an interesting way when he ended up accidentily hitting a dog with the Impala. Not being a cruel person, he rushed the dog to the nearest 24 hour animal hospital. This would be where he would meet Dr. Amelia Richardson, the vet. Sam stuck around to see if the dog was going to make and when he found out that he was going to, he tried leaving after thanking the doctor for helping the dog. The doctor "dogged" Sam about leaving the dog there after hitting him like it didn't happen. Eventually she made Sam feel guilty enough to take the dog home with him and taking care of it.

Sam and Amelia would see each other several times because of the dog and then several more times simply because a relationship of some sort was blooming between them. So much in fact, that they would end up living together in Texas. So one evening after doing random little jobs for people to make some extra cash, Sam returned home and for an unknown reason to him, check his email. It wasn't something that he did a lot anymore but for some reason that evening, something told him to do so. After logging into his account the very first and actually only message in his inbox stared at him like a red hot neon sign. It had no title but the email he recognized. Without waiting another minute, still being in shock, he opened it and began reading the rather short message.

Sam was extremely confused and honestly didn't believe that it was Dean either. After all anyone smart enough could hack into someone's email account and send out random email messages. It could definitely be a set up by a crafty demon, trying to lure Sam somewhere.But than again, he knew that there wasn't any way that he was just going to ignore it either. He had to check it out, right? Just in case? Quickly Sam texted a message to Amelia, letting her know that he had to go out of town for a couple of days but he'd keep her posted. While packing his bag and weapons, Sam had a horrible sense of deja vu. Jessica popped into his mind and the night that he packed to leave for a couple of days with Dean to find their father. Sam quickly shook it off, swallowing hard. He had to do this. Just had to.

Sam loaded everything into the Impala, keeping his demon knife and a gun beside him on the front seat in arm's reach. Everything else was in the back. Starting the engine, Sam began driving to the address that he copied down from the email. Sam only stopped a maximum number of 3 times in the entire trip. That was only because he needed gas, food or to use the bathroom. He was nervous, there was no doubt about that too. Before long though, he arrived at the hotel that "Dean" said he was at and would be waiting for him. Parking the car a little ways down, Sam got out and began arming himself. He placed a gun into his waist band of his jeans, the demon knife on the right side and a silver knife on the left. Also he carried a container of holy water too. He wasn't going in unprepared. He couldn't take that chance.

Sam took a deep breath and headed to room 15 which wasn't hard to find at all of course. With one hand on a knife and in a defensive posture, Sam knocked on the door of room 15 of the Days Inn, uncertain of what to expect when someone actually answered his knock. Right now, all he could do was stand there and wait and be extremely on alert for anything.

[Dean M. Winchester]

Dean had begun to lose hope that Sam would even show up. It was nearly a full 20 hours later when the Impala finally pulled up in the motel and he had fallen asleep at the table with his feet propped onto one of the chairs and his arm supporting his head. He snored quietly while resting against the table. He'd been awake for too long already and sleep was finally pulling him under. He had only been out for maybe an hour when the knock sounded at the door, causing him to jump in the chair, which actually caused him to fall out of the chair with a loud grunt. "Awesome.." He muttered under his breath. Dean actually had to wait several moments before getting up. One because his legs were asleep and two because he had to figure out what had awoken him in the first place.

Once it set in that it had been a knock at the door he shifted to push himself onto his feet and rub hard at his face to wake himself up more fully. Without further hesitation he reached out and grabbed his knife/ax that he'd fashioned while in Purgatory then staggered to the door while holding the blade firmly in his hand. He kept the knife hidden behind the door, mostly in case he needed to use it as a surprise weapon if it were something supernatural on the other side of that door. After hesitating for only a moment Dean yanked the door open and stared at the shadowy figure on the other side. After several moments he realized who he was staring at, "Sam?" He asked, feeling his heart clench and his eyes felt strangely watery. There was a soft clatter as he dropped the knife onto the floor and swung the door widely open. "Sammy!" He breathed out and took a step foreward as if to envelope his brother into a hug, but then froze when he spotted the stance and knife in his brother's hand.

"It's me, alright? It's actually me, Sam." He said while staring at his younger brother. "Come ooon, look me in the eye and tell me I'm lying to you." A growl slipped out in his tone when he spoke this time. He watched his brother, waiting for him to either attack or relax, who knew which would happen.

[Samuel T. Winchester]

Sam listened carefully to the sounds within the room that he could actually hear. The sound of a thud of some sort caught his attention and caused him to tense up even more than he already was. He was prepared for having to fight because it was just too hard to believe that he brother was just return out of the blue a whole year after he disappeared. Someone had to be playing a cruel joke on him or it was a demonic trick by Crowley or some other demon who thought Sam was an idiot. Clearly he wasn't because he was extremely prepared for anything right now. After several long moments that seemed like forever, Sam could hear the sound of movement getting closer to the door and then the sound of the latch being removed. Sam knew someone was about to open the door. What he wasn't prepared for was the face that was behind it.

The face of his brother stared at him in excitement from the open doorway. Sam kept his emotions hidden even though he was extremely shocked. He couldn't afford to let whatever being this way get the upper hand on him in this situation. Sam said nothing, just stared at "Dean". Quickly he eyed him, taking in the apperance and he had to admit that it definitely looked like Dean and sounded like him too. All of that though could be mimicked by a Shape shifter or even a demon or something. The faint sound of something hitting the floor caught his attention but he never once removed his gaze from what appeared to be his brother. The moment that "Dean" stepped forward towards him, Sam took a step back, away from him and clutched the knife even harder in his hand. "Don't." Sam finally managed to get at least once sentence out thankfully. Luckily, his brother stopped and didn't press the issue about getting any closer to him.

"I am looking at you and even though you sound like him and look like him, that doesn't necessarily mean that you ARE him." With a slow movement on his free hand, he entered his jacket pocket and produced his container of Holy Water, "You could very easily be a shifter or even a demon with the ability to look like others." And without hesitation, Sam threw the contents of the Holy Water into Dean's face and waited for some sort of reaction. In the meantime, he was prepared with his knife just in case.

[Dean M. Winchester]

When Sam had spoken that one simple word Dean had stopped and raised his hands up, not in defense or as if he were going to attack, merely one of those 'I'm not gonna do anything' gestures. "Calm down, Sammy." He said lightly, keeping his hands up and showing that he wasn't going to attack. Truth be told, he expected this when/if Sammy showed up. There was no way that Sam was going to believe that he was really him, not right off the bat anyway. When his brother spoke again, Dean couldn't help but to roll his eyes and shake his head lightly. "A shif-" he barely got the words out before his face was splashed with holy water and his mouth filled up. A face was made as he spit the water from his mouth, easily recalling when this had happened once before. Ellen had tossed the water in his face if he hadn't been mistaken. And if he remember correctly Bobby had done it too. Hmm. People had a knack for throwing holy water at him. "Not a demon, Sam." He said patronizingly.

"Look-" he dug into his pocket for a silver switchblade he'd picked up as well and dragged the sharp edge across his forearm with a little curl in his lip- "not a shifter, either." He said before tucking the blade into his pocket and turning to go look for something to cover the wound with. "Anything else you wanna test?" He asked over his shoulder. Would a monster trying to trick Sam have turned his back on the man? If it had, would it have been a ploy for trust? Of course, Dean wasn't a monster, just back from Purgatory with a billion and one questions. After finding nothing but a wad of toilet paper, Dean turned back to his brother and stared for a moment. "Come on, dude, I don't even get a 'Hey Dean, how was Purgatory? Glad to see you made it out.'" He remarked sounding both annoyed and exasperated.

[Samuel T. Winchester]

Sam watched Dean closely, especially when he began raising his hands. Honestly that just made him tighten his grip on the knife that he continued holding. He wasn't stupid and wasn't going to let his guard down until he was perfectly sure that this being in front of him was one hundred percent his brother Dean. Sam shifted his defensive posture only slightly when Dean's words were cut off by the Holy Water that had just landed in his face. Sam waited but all the waiting proved that this guy wasn't a demon. After all when the water landed, there was no screaming, burning or cussing. So that was good at least, right? Actually the only thing that it seemed to cause was annoyance to Dean.

A very slight smirk appeared on Sam's face at Dean's tone when he repeated what Sam found out already by the test. Still, though he couldn't take that chance and left his guard down just yet. Before Sam could reach for his own silver blade, Dean began doing the exactly same thing as he pulled out a switchblade and popped it open. As Sam watched, Dean drug the blade across the skin of his arm, leaving a trail of bleeding wound in it's aftermath. "Huh." Sam said in a confused but interested tone of voice. To make matters even more interesting, Dean turned his back and Sam and crossed the room without fear of Sam taking that moment to stab him or something worse.

A evil being or something else, knowing what Sam is and the Winchester history and track record, wouldn't have just turned it's back to Sam, right? So, was this truly his brother? How though? Sam didn't understand. Before long though, after Dean turned around to face him again, the older Winchester's words gave Sam the tid bit of information that the youngest was looking for. The surprise on Sam's face was obvious as Dean mentioned Purgatory. Then Sam's eyebrows knitted up in confused. "Purgatory? How? This whole time, that was where you were??"

[Dean M. Winchester]

Dean caught the small 'huh' from his brother, maybe that meant that he was starting to believe. Of course, he knew that regardless Sammy was going to be skeptical. After all, Dean had been gone for an entire year. Who would believe he was back in action after such a long time of being 'dead'. He patted at the wound on his arm with the wadded up toilet paper a few more times before figuring 'screw it' and tossing the bloodied paper away then flopping down onto the bed. He rubbed at his face when Sam questioned him and chuckled wryly. "Well.. when Dick exploded-" he paused a moment to revel in the humor of those three words with a small smirk at his lips, classic Dean Winchester "-me and Cas were tossed into Purgatory along with him. Honestly.. I didn't even know a whole year had passed until I got back." He said with a little shake of his head.

The words brought another thought to mind, causing his brows to furrow as he looked back up at Sam. "Why the hell didn't you answer your phone, Sam? I've been calling you like crazy since I got back. Where the hell have you been?" He sounded irritated, but hurt at the same time. Dean had spent so much time in the last year being emotionless because really, what else was there in purgatory? But he'd spent so much time without real emotion that being confronted by it was starting to build and he felt it welling into him. If he weren't so irritated, he probably could have cried. "I called your phones and dads and Bobby's..." He muttered, shaking his head and staring up at Sam. Dean knew that they couldn't all be turned off, that they couldn't all be dead or disconnected, so something was up.

He let out a sigh while waiting for his brother to answer before another question popped into his head. He had a billion of them at this point and letting even just one out was going to lead to the dam breaking and all of them flooding out. "What happened after I disappeared? Where's Kevin, and Crowley?" He asked, staring up at Sam. Dean was waiting for the one question he knew would come from his brother, the one he knew would be the hardest to answer, 'where was Cass?' He tried not to even think about it, it hurt to.

[Samuel T. Winchester]

Still very cautiously, Sam watched Dean closely. His eyes followed the elder guy's movements when it came to the still bleeding wound on his arm from the knife blade. Sam's eye brows crinkled up in concerned. After all, Sam had always been super protective of his brother and never liked the thought of him in pain, even self inflicted pain. Finally, Sam lowered the knife and holstered it away in the belt around his waist. Once that was finished, he dug into his pocket and fished out a handkerchief that he normally carried around and inched a few inches closer to Dean and tossed it at him for the wound. "Here. Use that. It's better than hotel toilet paper."

He listened to his story and nodded his head. "When Dick exploded, you and Cas disappeared instantly. Crowley did his usual cryptic taunting and then disappeared and so did Kevin. I didn't know what to do or who to call. I was lost." Sam sighed and plopped down into a chair, wearily now. The feelings from earlier that year when he lost the only two people that he cared about came rushing back at him and he felt drained once again. "An entire year. How long have you been back, exactly? Better yet, HOW did you get back and in one piece?" Sam tilted his head and narrowed his eyes a little bit. It was an amazing thing that Dean managed to get back to Earth in one piece.

A small frown appeared on Sam's face but he quickly wiped it away as he rubbed at his face in a tired gesture. "I got rid of all those old cell phone Dean. Well except yours. I kept them in a safe place. Just in case." Sam then took a deep breath and said the words that were going to without a doubt, blow Dean's mind. "I didn't need them anymore. Everyone was gone. It was just me. So I retired, Dean. I no longer Hunt." Sam braced himself against whatever emotion that Dean might throw at him once his statement rolled around in his brain a second or two before he understood fully what Sam had just said to him. "Crowley and Kevin disappeared at almost the same exact time, Dean. So I am guessing that Crowley has him."

Sam knew that Dean was going to ask him why he didn't search for Kevin but the statement about him having retired might fix that solution but he somehow doubted. Then after a moment or two of silence, Sam cocked his head to the side, looking at Dean with a confused expression. "By the way, where is Cas? I know you said he was there with you but where is he now?" Sam glanced around the room for signs of Castiel but nothing seemed to jump out at him. So his gaze returned to Dean as he waited for him to respond.

[Dean M. Winchester]

It hurt more to have Sam toss the handkerchief at him than it had to cut himself. Even knowing that it would be damned near impossible for his brother to believe him right off, Dean couldn't help but mentally will him to. Who would recognize him if not for his own brother? Who could believe him, if not for his own brother. It was a little disheartening to know that Sam couldn't see through all the mystery and past their.. past to know that he was actually himself and not some creature parading around in a Dean-suit. "Thanks." He muttered while wrapping the cloth around the wound to tie off tightly. It wasn't the first time he'd had a wound like that, probably wouldn't be the last time either. Life of a hunter, right?

Dean fell silent from his place on the bed as Sam spoke, listening to what had happened. Green eyes seemed almost pained to hear that Sam had been lost. He hated knowing that his brther was in any kind of pain, no matter what the cause or how long it lasted. It was his job as the older brother to take care of Sam, to protect him and he had royally screwed up. He knew that. A hand raised to rub hard at his face before Sam questioned him, making him chuckle darkly. There wasn't a touch of amusement in the sound. "Been back almost a week, I guess.." He started before shaking his head and leaning foreward to rest his elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. "Turns out there's a loophole to purgatory. Human souls aren't supposed to be there, ever. I guess it's meant for the monsters we kill... and so many more.." He frowned at the memories before continuing. "Loophole is that there's a way out. A human soul get's stuck there, they just have to find the gate and stroll right through. Nothing else can make it through, though." He said while looking at the floor. Hopefully, telling the little bit that he was would be enough for Sam to start believing.

His gaze rested on the horrifically ugly faded brown carpet, more on the small bleach stain than anything. Hearing that Sam had gotten rid of all the old phones, though, made his head jerk up in surprise. "You did what?!" He growled out. And then the shock truly hit him when Sammy spoke again about 'retiring'. His expression changed rapidly from shock to uncertainty to anger and then to amusement. "No. Seriously, Sam. What did you do with them?" He stated with a smile that faded all too quickly as he stared at his brother, waiting for Sam to reveal that it was all a joke, but there was nothing except seriousness in his brother's expression. "You did WHAT?!" He repeated, louder this time. The anger was apparent all over him as his right hand clenched tightly into a fist. "Crowley runs off with Kevin and you just give up!? Who the hell taught you to roll over and die, Sam?" He growled out, shaking as he tried to keep from shouting. This was not the reunion that he had expected. Not at all.

The anger nearly evaporated at the next question from his brothers lips. Cass. "He didn't make it." He said quietly while his gaze shifted to a point on the wall just behind Sam's head, his eyes taking on a far off look as the memory re-played for the hundredth time since his return. Memory after memory played through his head as he thought of his friend, his other brother. God, Cass was either dead or just stuck there... unfortunately Dean was aiming more toward dead.. At least with the way things had ended.

[Samuel T. Winchester]

Honestly Sam was starting to believe that this person was his brother but he was still very much on edge. He just wasn't ready to let his guard down just yet. The expression on Dean's face when Sam tossed the handkerchief at him to cover up the wound, wasn't lost on him and he made a sad expression on his own. "Welcome." The silence between them for a moment was hard to take. So Sam gritted his teeth a bit and watched as Dean applied some pressure to the knife wound on his arm.

What was Sam supposed to say about this situation to make Dean feel better? "I'm sorry that I didn't believe it was you right off the bat but I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a trap of some sort?" It was true and honestly he expected Dean to understand why Sam wasn't taking him out and buying him a beer and getting back to picking up where they had left off a year ago. Sam sighed softly and shook his head. Dean should have known that Sam wasn't going to believe that right after a year, Dean would just show up and believe it without so much as a question. That just wasn't Sam.

"A week? Really? Wow. Did you reappear at Dick's building or somewhere totally different?" Sam didn't know how that worked really. Would Dean just reappear back in the same spot he had been in when he disappeared a year a go? Or would it be somewhere completely different and he'd have to make his way back to some place that was familiar to him? It was odd considering how little they still truly knew about Purgatory. Sam continued listening carefully to what Dean was saying and the tone that he was actually saying it in. "Huh. Who would ever have thought that Purgatory would have a loophole or any sort. Even for a Human." After a moment of reflection, Sam tilted his head to the side, staring at his brother. "How exactly did you find out about the loophole in the first place?"

That was a curious question honestly. Did Dean just happen to stumble across the gate out or did he follow one of the monsters that were desperate to escape and realize only too late that only actual humans could leave through it? Or was there another reason that Dean got hip to the gate only allowing humans to escape a place that they weren't supposed to be in the first place? Sam worked as Dean's eyes turned their gaze to the ugly worn carpet of the hotel room's floor. Which in turn cause Sam's eyebrow to hitch up in question. What was going on with Dean? "Dean?" Although he put his name out there in question form to grab his attention, it didn't work.

Almost instantly though when Sam's statements about tossing his old Hunter cell phones and boxing Dean's up, Dean's head jerked up violently. So much in fact that it might have even caused him to hurt his neck except he wasn't worried about that as much as he was worried about rimming Sam right about now for his actions over the past year. Sam cringed at Dean's tone but wasn't about to be made to feel bad about the choices that he had made for himself. "I'm serious Dean. I tossed mine and boxed your belongings up in a safe place." Once again Sam cringed but this time Dean's shout caused him to jump a small big. Dean was a dangerous man when severely angry or threatened. And right now, his anger was directed at Sam.

At his comment, all worry and whatever fear he might have been feeling slipped away from Sam. He got to his feet and set his jaw in an almost painful gesture. "Don't give me that crap Dean! You had Lisa and Ben to fall back on and be with when I went to Hell but me? I had NO ONE! You and Cas were gone. Bobby was gone. I was all alone. I didn't have anyone to help me. What was I supposed to do??"

Sam got to his feet and began pacing the hotel room floor. He made sure to put some space between himself and Dean as he did so. He just couldn't believe that Dean would react to him retiring simply because he had no one left after Dean disappeared. All the people that he loved and trusted were gone. What was Sam supposed to do? Continue as a solo hunter and possibly die way before his time? Sam sighed and shook his head. When he heard Dean say that Castiel hadn't made it, Sam stopped pacing and worrying about the little issue he and Dean were having at the moment. Sam's face was surprised and saddened. At first he was speechless but finally managed to find his tongue. "He didn't make it? You saw Cas die?" Sam asked in a disbelieving voice.

[Dean M. Winchester]

He hated the silence between them, it was rare when they were together that there could be a moment of silence and sure, most times he enjoyed that silence, just not when they were fighting with each other or weren't completely sure of the other. That made it awkward and made him detest it. Hearing Sam speak again he couldn't help but to nod and smile faintly. "It's cool, Sammy. I did the same to you." He said quietly. And he had. He'd been so unsure of Sam after his brother had come back from hell, well, more since Sam had come to him since he hadn't been in Hell all that long. This was the second time that Dean had been through this, though. The first time at least Bobby had been there. Dean understood, there had to be some questions and skeptisism, if there weren't then he would be worried about whether this was actually his brother or not.

There was a brief nod of his head at the next question from Sam's lips. "Yeah, about a week. I popped up somewhere in a forest in Oklahoma. Talk about strange places." He said with a faint laugh that faded quickly. Again he got lost in thought, remembering that moment when he'd first stumbled out of the gate and had been completely unsure about whether it had even worked. The forest he'd stumbled into was so similar in appearance to the one he'd been trapped in for a year. It was only understandable that he'd have been a little lost. Dean snapped back to attention when his brother spoke again. "I never would have thought about there being a way out. Hell, Cas didn't even know about it." He said with a quick chuckle and shake to his head. The next question was the tough one. Did he lie to Sam? Well, he couldn't exactly tell him the truth, could he? Dean wasn't sure if he could trust Sam with knowing about Benny, not yet. So instead he settled for a half-truth. "I heard some monsters talking about trying to jump ship when I did. Try to hitch a ride back here on me if they could. Figured out as much as I could and got to the gate as fast as I could." He stated the half-truth to his brother, sounding completely believable as if there were no more to tell.

Unfortunately, Sam was in for a lot of these moments with Dean. Where he would be talking about something and then get lost in a memory from Purgatory. Perhaps there was some sort of a break to his psyche, some sort of post-traumatic stress thing. It was something that couldn't be helped, no matter what he did to try and prevent it, nothing could stop it. But after looking back to Sam and hearing his brother speak, he couldn't help but to shake his head. "Why?" He asked, looking both hurt and confused. Why would Sam just give up? Why would he stop fighting. It was beyond him. And then Sam jumped to his feet and began pacing while speaking again. "Oh come off it, Sam!" He shouted while getting to his feet as well. "You could have- wait.." The anger faded once more as pain took over. His eyes glossed over just as his face turned pink, slowly elevating toward red. "You mean to tell me that this whole year- this whole time, you didn't look for me at all!?" He shouted angrily. "You went to hell I begged and pleaded everyone to bring you back before I went to Lisa. When you died I sold my goddamned soul to get you back and you didn't look for me ONCE? You just gave up?

Are you really that tired of the life?" He asked while shaking his head. Instead of waiting for an answer he shoved passed Sam toward the door. "Where's my car? Where's my stuff?" He asked before Sam would have time to answer. Maybe it was because he didn't want to hear the answer, maybe it was because it hurt too much to know that Sam hadn't even tried to find him. Just as his hand hit the doorknob he heard the question about Cas and froze, froze so thoroughly that every inch of him was stuck in place while his eyes focused on something far away.. or not here at all.

"Just get him out!"

[/color] Castiel screamed at Benny while Dean fought back against the vampire to get to his friend. [/i]"CASS!"[/color] Dean screamed back, ignoring the fact that there was a Leviathan closing in on him and Benny. [/i]"Dean, GO!"[/color] [/i]"We're not leaving you, Cas!"[/color] He shouted again, just as Castiel used some of the small amount of power he held here in Purgatory to push the Leviathan's back and away from Dean. [/i]"You have to! Just go!"[/color] [/i]"Come on, brother. The gates open, we gotta go."[/color] Benny said in his ear, holding tightly to Dean's waist to keep him from running to Cas as he so badly wanted to. [/i]"No!"[/color] He shouted. [/i]"All or none, remember!"[/color] [/i]"It's too late, Dean."[/color] [/i]"GO!"[/color] Cas shouted once more while Benny dragged him back toward the gate just as a Leviathan took advantage of the Angel's distraction and knocked him down. Dean reached again for Cas while another monster popped in and helped with the attack on the angel. [/i]"NO!"[/color] He shouted again, just as Purgatory vanished when Cas hit the dirt.[/i]

He shook his head lightly, pushing the memory out of his head to look back to Sam. "I saw enough. Cas didn't make it." He said almost tearfully before setting his jaw firmly and yanking open the door, needing a moment of fresh air.

[/justify]

[Samuel T. Winchester]

Sam gave a little thoughtful and understanding nod of his head at his brother's comment. "It just pays to be one hundred percent certain. I mean honestly, I believe it is you now." The a small laugh passed through his lips before he spoke again. "It has to be you. After all who else can get so annoyed with me and make that face like you do?" Sam knew that Dean knew exactly what he was talking about. There was a certain way that only a close knit sibling to tick another sibling off and it still be okay at the end of the day.

"That's an odd place to fall out of the gate from Purgatory." Sam pondered it for a moment. "I wonder if it leads out there each time or if it's a random thing? Not that there's any research that we know of that tells tale of humans escaping Purgatory though." Sam became quiet as he watched his eldest brother's face go a little blank as he spoke. To Sam it looked like he might be lost in heavy thought or possibly his time in Purgatory? Could definitely be a little bit of both he figured. He decided not to disrupt him. After all Dean would return to the conversation when his mind came back to the presence. In the meantime, Sam just waited silently.

It didn't take too long before Dean's eyes seemed to come alive again and he refocused back onto the present. Sam tilted his head, watching his brother and listening to whatever he had to say. "Hitch back with you? Is that even a possible thing for them to do?" Sam looked a little confused at the thought. After all Dean said that there had been a way for Humans to get out but nothing about monsters being able to make their way back through it once they were stuck in there. "Did you have any trouble making it back through the gate or portal or whatever it was exactly?" Sam asked Dean curiously.

A small sigh escaped Sam as Dean's voice hiked up once again as he got aggravated at his younger brother's words. He then shook his head. Sam waited until Dean stopped talking fully because there was no need to try and break into Dean's little rant while he was in the middle of it. He'd probably get punched and honestly, Sam didn't want to get punched or have to punch back either. Once Dean had calmed down some once again, Sam finally tried adding something to it. "I thought that was what we agreed to? Not searching for each other if something like this happened?" Sam paused only briefly. "I mean I know you looked for me even though I asked you not to do it but you had help. I didn't have that. Bobby was gone. I know I keep saying that but it is a valid point. You had some form of help, where I didn't, I didn't know where to turn or what to do."

Right before Sam tried answering the question about being tired of the life, Dean practically bull dozed Sam down in an attempt to reach the door of the hotel room. The pain in Sam's face was easily readable even anyone was honestly trying to. Sam was hurt because Dean didn't understand just how hard it had been for Sam when his only surviving loved one up and disappeared without so much as a small trace. He didn't have anyone to get any help from or even a inkling of help. So what was he supposed to do? After so long with no sign of Dean, Sam did give up. What else was he supposed to do? "The Impala is fine and sitting a little ways down from the room. As for your stuff - most of it is boxed up and in the trunk. The rest is in storage. Safe."

Waiting for Dean to open the room door and run out and hug his precious "Baby", he was instead greeted with no movement at all. Sort of like every muscle in Dean's body froze up solid. Sam couldn't see his face but he was certain that Dean was staring off into space. It had to be the question referring to Castiel that had him once again not in the present time with him. With a rather soft voice, Sam called out to his brother. "Dean? You alright?" He waited a few moments but nothing about the scene changed. No movement what so ever from Dean. Honestly, it didn't even look like he was breathing but he had to be of course because he was still standing there.

Finally Dean thawed out and turned to look a him. Sam quickly took in the emotion on his brother's face and was able to see that any mention of the beloved Angel was enough to tear a hole in Dean's heart. Sam sighed and swallowed hard as Dean told him once again that Cas hadn't made it. The look on his face was enough to tell him that Dean believed what he was saying and in turn, Sam believed him too. Even though Castiel was closer to Dean, Sam still felt like he had just lost another family member. Before Sam could say anything else, Dean finally managed to open the hotel room door and breeze out of it. Not wanting to disturb Dean just yet, Sam moved over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. He needed to sort through all of this. Today had been a day of information overload and he had no idea how to process all of it.

[Dean M. Winchester]

Dean smile lightly when Sam said that he believed it was him, now. Of course he understood his brothers hesitation to believe it. Who wouldn't? That didn't stop it from irritating him a little bit though. It was his brother above all else, his brother should always know him. Hearing that he made a certain face, Dean couldn't help but to make the face a second time at his brother, even if he didn't realize that he was doing it. "What face?" He asked in the hopes that he wasn't making it, even though it still sat on his features. There would always be things that one or the other did that they knew above all else, that annoyed them or made them remember how much the other cared. It as just the way it worked in such close families. And that was the one thing that Dean prided himself on was his family and how much he cared about them.

He chuckled and shook his head lightly at the mention of the odd place. "Yeah, I thought the same thing when I found out where I was. I dunno, Sammy. Maybe that's it's designated spot, maybe it moves around per person or per minute. Who knows. Hell up until last week I didn't even know for sure that there was a way out." He said while scratching at his cheek. His tongue brushed out over his lips to wet them as he paused in thought before hearing Sam's question. Again, Dean had to decide whether to lie or tell the truth. Again, it was about Benny. "I guess someone could hitch a ride back. I mean, if you think about it, they can't get through because they're still in whatever form they were when they died-" meaning vampire, werewolf, ect "-and only a human can get through, but they were human at one point too.. Most of them anyway, so they would have to be able to attach onto the human and slide on through. It only makes sense." He said with a shrug, easily recalling pulling Benny through with him. That had actually been a very uncomfortable ride since the passage through the gate had shoved Benny's soul into Dean's arm.

At the question from his brother Dean looked down at the floor. Was there trouble getting through. He let out a breath of a laugh from his nose, the sound completely humorless. "It's where - where I lost Cass." He'd had to cut himself off to avoid saying we. Sam would surely have some questions about that. Dean just hoped that Sam would attribute that minor stutter to grief.

Of course Dean was aggitated, he'd just learned that Sam had given up on him. Hearing his brother speak on their 'agreement' made him even angrier. "Since when have we ever followed that, Sam?!" His voice took on a lower tone as he growled out the words. The angrier he got, the lower his voice became. It had to have been something picked up from John, their father used to do the same. "We made that pact before I went to hell. YOU still looked for me then. We said it again before you went to hell. If I remember correctly, you didn't have anyone helping you then!" He snapped, part of the aggrivation was from being reminded..again, that Bobby was gone. He swallowed hard while staring at his brother. "You still could have tried." He said before he'd shoved past Sam to get to the door.

Hearing that the Impala was right outside made him a little happier, but not much. Hearing that his things were in the trunk? That made his day. While lost in the memory, Dean hadn't heard Sam talking to him at all, he'd been so caught up in reliving that horrible moment. He sucked in a sharp breath after vanishing out the door, taking in as much of that cold air as he could. Green eyes darted around to find the Impala, quickly landing on the black beast several spaces down. He moved as quickly as his legs would carry him to her side. "Hey Baby." He muttered while running a hand along the hood. "Sorry I left you. He better have taken care of you.." He muttered, talking to the car was an old past time for him. Maybe it was just because he'd been raised in the thing. In a sense he felt like he could still connect with Dad through the Impala, as strange as that may be.

"Man, I don't even know what to do here.." He said while turning to rest his back against the door. Sam had the keys or he would have dug through the trunk for some of his things. "Everything's such a mess.." He muttered once more before crossing his arms over his chest and turning his gaze up to the starry night sky. This was where he stayed for a full twenty minutes, until his fingers started to get cold. With a sigh he shook his head and patted the driver's door before pushing off of the car and heading back to the motel room. He'd calmed down a lot, but it was plain to see that he was still irritated. "Keys." He muttered to his brother while leaning down to scoop up his knife and then hold out his hand to Sam. "Where am I dropping you off at?" He asked, resolved to just..... let Sam go..

[Samuel T. Winchester]

Sam almost ended up laughing or at the very least snickering a little bit as Dean once again makes the exact same face that he seems to not know about. Or he does know exactly which face Sam is talking about and he is just trying to be sly about it all. Sam raised his hand and pointed at Dean's face. "That face right there." Finally though a small smile crept onto his face finally as he watched Dean's expression. Sam and Dean knew each other a lot more in depth than most people even realized but it wasn't something that Sam or even Dean was willing to change. It was just how close they were. Except this last year has seemed to have shook their relationship up a bit. Or so it seemed right now.

Sam thought about that for a moment and then ended up giving a slight shrug of his shoulders. "It's possible. That'd be a nice way to screw up the humans that manage to actually escape. I mean seriously who would expect a gate from Purgatory would drop you right off into the middle of a forest in Oklahoma." Sam shook his head. "Not like I knew either. Honestly, not a lot of people know about it. Except the monsters that try to escape from there and don't make it." Sam listened closely to what Dean was saying about something maybe being able to attach it's self onto the human being that was trying to escape. He thought about it for a moment and then shook his head no. "I don't know, Dean. I mean it seems that if the monster just hangs onto a human that was trying to get out, that the gate still wouldn't allow it to happen."

"Unless the monster some how "possessed" the human somehow , so that only the human was able to get through." Then again, what did Sam know? Honestly he had no clue how the gate would work or how something would ride a human out without getting detected by the gate that didn't allow monsters back through and free again. "When you managed to get through the gate, did anything try coming out with you?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow expression. Actually Sam was curious on how the monsters were treated when they tried escaping the gate.

As he continued listening, Sam could see the emotion on his brother's face in regard to Castiel and honestly, he could feel it coming off of him too. The loss of the beloved Angel was stifling. The pain on Dean's face was enough to make Sam hurt too. Hurt for Dean himself and also the Angel that didn't make it back with him. After all Sam cared about Castiel as well. Even if they weren't as close as Dean and Cas were. A frown played across Sam's features and a slight nod of his head as Dean continued talking. "Cas wasn't able to get through the gate?" Sam pondered that for a mere second. "Cas isn't a demon but in a human body. Did the gate somehow recognize that the body held an Angel or did something else happen that stopped Cas from getting through?"

Sam sighed long and loudly as he reached up and rubbed his hand over his face a time or two. The conversation wasn't actually accomplishing anything other than pissing both of them off. So Sam decided to just cave and get it over with. Sure a part of him felt bad that he hadn't searched for his brother but a part of him had gotten just so very tired of losing the people that he loved. Dean had been the last straw. With Dean having disappeared, Sam was completely alone. Yes, he had given up and now he felt extremely sorry about it. Although not sorry enough to regret meeting and falling for Amelia. Nothing would ever make him regret that. Eventually Sam would manage to tell his older brother about the woman that he loved but right now wasn't the time for it. With another sigh, Sam spoke, his tone lowered and defeated. "Okay. Fine, Dean. I'm sorry. I made a huge mistake. I should have searched for you and not given up."

Whether that would help the situation or not, only time would tell. Sam watched as Dean escaped the room and out int the cool air. His target was now locked on his precious Baby and nothing was going to stop him from checking on his car. Sam again sighed and walked towards the door. He stood there in the doorway as he watched Dean move in a determined manner to reach the sleek, black, missing part of his brother's being. A slight smile pulled the corners of his mouth up as he watched his brother. It never failed to amaze him just how much Dean cared for and loved that car. Before long after his brother reached the car, his lips began moving and Sam knew that Dean was talking to the Impala. More likely than not, he was apologizing for leaving her and in the car of Sam. Sam shook his head. He had taken good care of the Impala.

When it was obvious that Dean had no intentions of returning to the room anytime soon, Sam had left the doorway and went back inside. He grabbed a plastic hotel cup and grabbed himself some water before taking his seat once again in the chair a little bit away from the bed. He would just leave Dean alone and give him some time with the car or himself or whatever he might be doing after loving on Baby. It was well over 20 minutes before Sam heard the footsteps alerting him to the return of his brother. Sam glanced up at the door. Sam got to his feet and dug the keys out of his pocket. Before handing the keys over though, Sam pulled two keys off of the key chain, leaving what had originally been on there that was placed there by Dean.

His next words confused him though. He raised his eyebrows in question. "Dropping me off? A slight chuckle escaped Sam's lips. "You been gone a whole year and we've spent maybe 2 whole hours together and you are already ready to get away from me? Wow. Okay then." Sam paused a moment, slipping the keys back into his pocket, so he wouldn't lose them. "Kermit, Texas." Sam simply said as he looked Dean directly in the eyes.

[Dean M. Winchester]

Dean honestly didn't know what face it was that his brother was talking about. Then again, it wasn't as if he had a mirror in front of his face at every moment just to catch his expressions. Sometimes he'd considered it because Sam wasn't the first one to tell him about a particular expression that he would make. He just smiled lightly at his brother and shook his head when Sam pointed and spoke. As the conversation drifted back to what Purgatory and the Gate, he fell silent long enough for Sam to speak. "Honestly, it did mess me up for a minute. Coming out of the gate straight into a forest? For a minute there I thought that it hadn't worked, that I was still stuck, but.." He let the sentence die away with furrowed brows. His expression showing that he really didn't want to continue the train of thought that had been going with it.

He nodded softly before scratching at the back of his head when his brother spoke again. "I think other than the Leviathans and myself nothing has ever actually made it out of Purgatory. The only reason the Leviathans made it out was Ca-" he cut off the name and swallowed hard before speaking again, "took care of them though, didn't we?" He said with a little smile, trying to push the thoughts of the angel from his head. He'd lost not only the one real friend he'd had in the world, but a brother. Castiel had been his brother, his friend, that kindred spirit that one just happens across in life. It hurt to think about Cass because all he could think about was those final moments when the Angel was in his sight before having gone through the gate with Benny.

When Sam spoke again, dismissing his theory -which was mostly true too- Dean laughed lightly and shrugged. "Does seem pretty unbelievable, doesn't it?" Of course, he didn't divulge that it was completely true since Benny had managed to come back with him. All in all, he hadn't lied to Sammy yet. Not completely anyway. He had just skirted the truth a few times. The next question Sam asked made Dean pause, though thankfully unnoticablly. Now came the time where he had to decide on a lie or the truth. Benny had tried coming with him and suceeded. Of course, he could imagine that the Leviathan had been at the gate to try the same or to just kill him and Cass. After several moments he realized that he didn't have to lie to Sam. Another half-truth would do. "Leviathan's met us right before the gate.. I don't know if they were there to try and jump a ride or if they just wanted us dead.." He stated convincingly. He hated lying to his brother, but wasn't sure that he could trust him with Benny yet.

Benny had become a close friend and practically a brother, even though he was a vampire. He still found it remarkable that he'd even met up with a vampire and became close. After all, Dean had always been the kill 'em now kind rather than let them live. But really? What more was there to Purgatory? Cass had disappeared on him and Benny was all he'd had. There weren't other humans there, he'd had to take what he could get. The thing was, he wasn't sure how Sam would feel about it, especially since he'd been on his brothers ass for so long about Ruby and then about Amy. Thankfully they had both killed Ruby, but Amy? Sam had been so pissed when he'd found out. How would his brother react to knowing that Dean had willingly brought a Vampire back from Purgatory? His expectation? Not favorably.

Dean swallowed hard at the questions from Sam's lips, having to take a moment before speaking again. It really was hard to talk about Cass, but he felt that Sammy had the right to know what had happened. Or at least as much as he could divulge right away. "We don't know that he couldn't. Cass said that he probably wouldn't be able to make it through the gate since he was never really human, the vessel didn't count as human with Cass riding him, I guess. But he was pretty sure that no matter what he would be stuck there anyway.." He paused only for a moment to push the memories back once more. "We never really got the chance to find out for sure since right before we hit the gate the Leviathan's showed up, if it hadn't-" again he had to pause to keep Benny's name out of it "-Cass kept some of his power there and he could tell when they were getting close. I tried to get to him and yank him through with me.." His eyes closed to hide the fact that he was near tears, "he shoved me through before I could get him.. Last thing I saw was Cass hitting the dirt and three of the bastards closing in.. Next thing I know I'm in Oklahoma." He said the last bit through gritted teeth. He wished like hell that he'd been able to get to Castiel.

Even hearing the words from his brother weren't enough to keep Dean from shaking his head. He knew that Sammy was only saying it as a 'give-in-so-Dean-shuts-up' sort of thing. After all, why else would he just conceed to defeat? Especially when he believed he was right in what he'd done. Dean didn't believe that Sam was really sorry for not having looked for him. There was a billion possibilities as to why, but they weren't important to the elder Winchester. Not right now anyway. Instead of having said anything, he'd simply spent some time with Baby. She needed his attention. Dean could tell from the outward appearance that Sammy had taken care of her, had even gotten her fixed from the damage Meg had done before he and Cass had gone off on their little adventure.

The chuckle from Sam made his eyes narrow, trying to keep his cool. He'd resolved to letting Sam go, that didn't mean he had to like it. Not one damned bit. Once the keys were in his hand, however, he clutched them into a fist. "You obviously have more important things to be doing than sitting here Sam. Figured maybe you wanted to get back to them." He stated and without giving his brother a chance to respond turned on heel and went right back out the door. Of course, his comment had been aimed at the fact that Sam hadn't searched for him, or hunted for that matter. Dean thought that that was what bothered him the most. That Sammy had just given up completely. He moved as quickly as he could to the trunk and jammed the key into the lock before twisting and yanking up at the same time to pull it open, revealing the boxes that Sam had mentioned. Without a word he stacked the two onto one another, slammed the trunk while balancing them and pocketed the keys.

Once back in the room he kicked the door closed and set the boxes onto his bed. "I'll take you 'home' in the morning." He commented without looking at Sam. A tiny breath escaped him while yanking the same dagger he'd cut himself with out to cut the tape from the boxes. He smiled softly as he opened the first and saw his handguns within, then a little wider as he picked up their fathers journal. Again when he spotted his favorite blue plaid shirt and some other clothes. The second box contained what he'd been looking for. His old phones. Without a word to Sam he instantly pulled them and their chargers free from the box to begin plugging them in and charging them up.