Post by Amelia J. Richardson on Nov 11, 2012 3:07:51 GMT -5
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November 11th 2012
2:53 am
I haven't written in a journal since I was a kid. Even then it was utter nonsense but I need to get some things out. Sam's gone. Not for good he promised me he would come back but I'm not going to lie it was a little heart breaking to see him go so suddenly and not know what was going on. It has to be something bad or at east really important for him to just get up and leave without telling me what was going on. But he's been texting me telling me not to worry and he'll be home soon. Riot has
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been going crazy without him here too. And the nightmares are back. Ever since Sam came into my life they've gotten less. Its gotten to the point that I don't have them anymore. Its like he chases them away. I fee safe when I'm around him. But now that he's gone...I don't know. They're back like when I first started having them. I remember the first night I had a nightmare with Sam sleeping next to me. I woke up to him shaking me yelling at me to wake up. When I did finally wake up I was covered in sweat and my heart was pounding. My throat was raw from screaming and I'll never
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forget the look on Sam's face. He was terrified. I broke down that night. It was the first time he had ever seen me cry. I thought he would have left. Who wanted a girl as broken as me? But he stayed. He held me telling me everything was going to be ok until I fell back asleep. I only had nightmares a few more times after that and then they just stopped. Now without Sam here they've started back up again. They're always the same. I'm always transported back to that night hiding in my parents' closet watching my Dad killing my Mom. I still see the blood and
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hear the gurgled scream coming from her throat and what seemed like a grow coming from his. I see everything as clear as the night it happened. I just want Sam to come home. I don't know how much longer I can deal with these nightmares without him. But I have to. I've gone through worse and come out alive. I'm strong and I need to remember that. I still have Riot too. I don't know I've just grown so used to always having Sam there. He needs to come home where he belongs.
-A
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this was made by mousey of caution 2.0. do not steal.
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